A Mass of Effects
by Soularius11
Summary: A Self Insert. Ian wakes up one day to find himself in the Mass Effect universe, six months before the events of ME1. Can he help stop the Reapers from destroying all life in the galaxy?


... What the hell? The last thing I remember is sitting down in front of my Xbox, putting in Mass Effect, a flash of light, then... nothing. I'm lying on a cold, hard surface, some kind of metal probably. I sit up slowly, taking into account the turian looking down at me. Wait... a turian? Oh shit...  
"I'm glad to see you're finally awake," he says. His voice is oddly familiar, but I can't place it exactly.  
"Where am I?" I ask.  
"You're in Dr. Cloe Michel's med clinic. You got scraped up pretty bad."  
Wait. Dr. Michel? The woman you save from Fist's thugs? How the hell did I end up on the motherfucking Citadel!?  
"My name is Garrus Vakarian. Yours is Ian, according to your files. Unfortunately, there's no data on any family or a last name."  
Okay, my name is Ian, so that's weird. And why did Garrus bring me here?  
"What happened?" I ask, glancing at the doctor questioningly.  
"I found you passed out in an alley, covered in bruises, with nothing but the clothes on your back and an expensive omni-tool  
I stand up, noticing a metal band around my left wrist, with a button on it where the face of a watch would go. I tap the button, and an orange hologram springs up around my forearm. An Omni-tool? That's awesome. Almost makes up for being dragged out of my universe into this one.  
A soft ping comes from the omni-tool, followed by a soft female voice saying: 1,000,000 credits have been added to your account. Garrus whistles.  
"Someone must really like you," he says.  
I thank him and the doctor, and leave. If my 'tool is correct, then I have six months until Shepard gets here. I wonder if the Shepard in this universe is male or female. I guess I may as well try and team up with Shepard, since I honestly have nothing better to do. That means I should probably learn how to use a gun.  
Taking a rapid transit cab to the market area, I can't help but be amazed at. How beautiful this place is. I've gotten over the shock for the most part, since I played Mass Effect enough that I almost feel at home here. When I get to the markets, I see a store labeled 'Arms and Armor'. I head there straight away. When I enter the shop, I'm greeted by a friendly looking man with plain brown hair and blue eyes.  
"What can I get you?" he asks.  
"I guess I need a gun and some armor," I say looking around to see if anything on the shelves catches my eye.  
"We have an armor customization station right over there, and you can also use it to add any symbols or color schemes to your gun." I walk over to the station and step inside.  
The interface is pretty simple. You can choose colors and symbols, and put them on your armor. I choose medium armor, because heavy sounds... heavy. I go with a basic gunmetal grey color scheme, with blue stripes down the shoulders. Then the greek Omega goes on my chest, also in blue. I'm happy with that, so I move on to my gun. I go with an M-76 Revenant, and it gets the same grey color, with blue stripes along it's length. Satisfied, I pick a helmet. Grey with a blue visor. I'm done, so I step out of the terminal. After a couple of minutes the guy brings my finished gear out of the back. I go into a changing room, and get my gear on. I look pretty badass, in my opinion. I go back to the front of the store, pay the 250,000 credits it cost me, and walk out of the shop.  
I think it would probably be a good idea to find a place to live, so I go to the residential district and ask about renting an apartment. I'm told that it'll cost me 15,000 a month, and I accept. I go upstairs and check out my apartment. It's pretty decent, with a living room, kitchen/dining room, bedroom, and bathroom. I decide I should probably get a job, so I start reading on my 'tool's extranet function. It turns out a couple of places are looking for security workers, so I go and check out the first one. It's just a normal warehouse, but they've apparently been robbed recently, and so they're tightening up security. I'm hired, told I'll be payed 25,000 a month, which covers my rent, and that My first shift will be in three hours. In the meantime, I decide I want to get in some practice with my new rifle  
I ask around, and I find there are some popular shooting ranges. I head to one, pay the almost insignificant entrance fee, then ready my rifle. Blamblamblam! I'm not in the best physical condition, so the recoil is hard to deal with, and none of the shots hit the target. I try again, this time adjusting for kick, and my shots hit the target. Nowhere near the center, but they still hit. After two and a half hours of this, with my aim improving, I remember my job. I make my way back over to the warehouse with five minutes to spare.  
When my shift starts, I take my place by the door and wait.  
After a few minutes, the other guard (A tall, muscular guy with a huge shotgun) says "So, what's your name?"  
"Ian -" You know, I think I'll just stick with Ian. "Ian," I repeat more firmly.  
"Jason Kyle," he says.  
"So, have you been in this line of work for long?" I ask. It couldn't hurt to try and make friends.  
"Just a few months. You?" "Today was my first shift. This is actually my first time on the Citadel. It's-" my thoughts are interrupted by a blinking on my radar.  
"We've got hostiles incoming!" I say, moving behind the door frame. A group of five turians come into view, wearing the telltale armor of Fist's the door guarded only by Jason, they immediately start shooting. I duck out of cover and get six shots off, breaking one guys shields. My next shots drill him in the chest, and he fals over, blue blood spreading underneath him. I just killed someone. I immediately feel nauseous.  
Jason takes out the others then looks over and sees my expression. "That your first kill? Don't worry, you get used to it."  
I just nod, wondering what kind of life I just ended.  
"Hey kid, it'll be okay. He was working for Fist. You just did the galaxy a favor."  
"I'm not a kid. I'm 27."  
He laughs and resumes his position by the door. I follow suit.  
The rest of our shift is uneventful. Everyone who comes dow our hallway has clearance. At the end of our shift, I say "See ya" to Jason, and I make my way home. I take my armor off, take a quick shower, and go to sleep.  
The next few months continue like that, with the occasional robbery. I eventually upgrade my Revenant, to keep it up to speed, and my armor needs to be repaired once. I don't realize how much time is passing, until one day I see a report on the news about an attack on Eden Prime. It's finally here! For the next couple of days, I hang out around the med clinic, in the hopes that when Shepard comes, I'll be ready.  
Sure enough one day, I hear the door open, and Fist's thugs come in. I hide, then Garrus comes in. He looks surprised to see me, but I hold my finger to my lips in the universal 'shhhhhhh' gesture. Then Shepard comes in. Wow. Definitely female. Red hair with green eyes, she looks just like the default female Shepard, except... better. Much better. She talks with the thugs, while me and Garrus wait behind the crates. She nods, and I jump out from behind the crates, blind-firing my Revenant. One of them charges me, and I sidestep, smashing my rifle into the small of his back. In a mintute it's over, and then we officially meet her.  
"Commander Shepard," I say, shaking her hand, "It's nice to meet you."  
"Likewise," she says, with that beautiful voice of hers, "thanks for the help."  
"What were you looking for?" I ask. "Evidence that Saren Arterius is behind the attack on Eden Prime," she says.  
Dialogue with the doctor ensues, and we make our way to Chora's Den. As soon as we enter we're hit with a barrage of bullets. I duck into cover and fire a short burst from my Revenant at one of them, then duck back in cover. Garrus snipes two heads clean off, and I see some biotics from Kaidan. The fight is over quickly, and we make our way to the back room. Fist is such a coward, he surrenders instantly.  
"A quarian came to me, looking to trade information for a place to hide. I told her I'd get her a meeting with the shadow broker. But it'll be Saren's men waiting for her."  
Shepard shoots him with a pistol, then we continue to the place of the ambush.  
After just a couple minutes of waiting, a turian comes into view, followed by two salarians.  
"Do you have it?" the turian asked, stepping closer to Tali.  
"Where's the shadow broker?" she asked suspiciously.  
"Give it to us," was the turian's only reply.  
"No way. The deal's off," she said, taking a step back.  
I peg one of the salarians with a few shots from my Revenant, Garrus blows the other one's head off, and I see Shepard using a biotic lift on the turian. She then gets off a few shots with a pistol, so I assume she's an adept. They're all dead, so I walk over to Tali and ask,  
"Are you injured?" I ask.  
"No, I'm alright. Thanks for the help. My name is Tali Zorah Nar'rayya."  
Shepard interrupts.  
"Do you have evidence proving Saren was behind Eden Prime?"  
"Yes, I do. I was fighting some geth, and I managed to salvage something from it's audio banks."  
"Play the recording," Shepard says, sounding a little bit impatient.  
Tali obliges, fiddling with her omni-tool for a bit before we hear Saren's voice  
'"Eden Prime was a major victory. The beacon has brought us one step closer to finding the Conduit."  
"And one step closer to the return of the Reapers."'  
"Wait a minute," Kaidan says. "Who was that woman with him? And what are the 'Reapers'?"  
"I'm not sure," Shepard says, "but I think it may have something to do with the vision the beacon gave me."  
"So we need to take this to the Council," I say, since I want to move forward.  
We make our way back up to the citadel tower, and me and Garrus wait outside.  
"So... thanks for bringing me to the clinic," I say, wanting to break the silence.  
"Eh... it was no big deal."  
"I'm just surprised. I thought turians generally disliked humans," I say.  
"Yeah, well, I try to be as open-minded as possible."  
The door opens, and Shepard walks out, grinning like a maniac.  
"What happened in there?" I ask, knowing full well what happened.  
"I'm a Spectre," she says, sounding like she just won the lottery twice.  
"Wow! That's great!" I exclaim, trying to act surprised.  
"Yeah, I couldn't believe it," she says, still sounding excited. We finish up our business on the Citadel, then make our way back to the Normandy. We step into the airlock, and it alerts the crew to our arrival. I can't believe how perfect it is. It's exactly like the game, only better. After I unload my gear into my locker, I hear Shepard making her speech over the intercom.  
"This is Commander Shepard speaking. We have our orders. Find Saren before he finds the Conduit. I won't lie to you, crew. This mission isn't going to be easy. For too long our species has stood apart from the others. It's time for us to step up and do our part. Time to show them what humans are made of. Our enemy knows we're coming. When we enter the Traverse Saren's followers will be waiting. But we'll be ready for them too. Humanity needs to do this. Not just for our own sake, but for the sake of every other species in Citadel Space. Saren needs to be stopped, and I promise you we will stop him."  
Hell yes.


End file.
